Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish there were birth control emojis
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
