Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
