Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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