I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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