He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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