Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
