Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
