I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
