Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
