did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
