I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
