Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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