i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Text me some of your sweat
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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