So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
