Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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