first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
