Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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