Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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