11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Randomize
