Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
