they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
