Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My life is pants optional.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
