He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
