And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
