I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
