He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
FUCK WHALES
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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