READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
