I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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