We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
