Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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