that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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