I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
