i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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