there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
