what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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