The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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