where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my shit smells like andre
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
