24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
