i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
