So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am naked and annoyed.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
