I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
