I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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