Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
