so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
