I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
