I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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