just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
