I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
