you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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