I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
