This is not my ceiling
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
