They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
