can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
